The Rain
The Rain
Runs down the window pane
Sits atop plastic white table frame
Claiming victory
Until the Air takes her
By evaporation
The Rain
Pounds into the thirsty Earth
Over and over
Billions of Rain People, one Earth
It hardly seems fair
Until the Earth sucks up all the Rain
By absorption
The Rain
Bursting overflow
Gathering for hours or days in
Wandering clouds
Holding and holding until ready to
Gush vertically into just the right field
Until the Wind blows her too north
By jet stream
The Rain
Filling up the Delaware
Rinsing off the algae blooms
The basin's rim crowded
With houses and people's lives
Too busy to notice the balance
In question
By climate change
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
This Morning 3/30/12
Con
When do we cross the line between being authentic and running a bit of a con?
People who are good people generally do good things, but sometimes, good people do things which don't meet the barre of a "good thing." They may even have had good intentions behind their efforts, but the outcome stands on shaky ground because it isn't something they would write home to Mother about.
I've found there are primarily two reasons why someone misrepresents themselves, over-extends their reach to make an appearance as something they are not, or downright runs a con. These are money and pride.
The simplistic reason - money - is almost understandable. Everyone can relate to being financially desperate enough to have thought about ways to procure more money in fast, less-than-legal manners. The actual fulfillment of these thoughts takes one down a completely different avenue. Yet, aside from people like Bernie Madoff who is just plain disgustingly greedy, we can still almost justify the sense of obsessively driven emotion which makes one bend the rules to salvage their car, their house, or their business from financial ruin.
The more difficult reason - pride - is multi-faceted and includes not only public image, but love. Under this heading is also ego, which has to do with how one sees oneself. When parents tell kids they are proud of them, they are mostly saying, "I'm so glad I'm your parent!" or "You make me look good!" What parent doesn't rattle off and enhance the accomplishments of their children before voicing their own humbler, hum-drum, same-'ol news? I have experience with this, which is why I can be so honest about it!
Public image makes people run all sorts of cons to save face; from overstating qualifications to downright lying. Then there is the intentional and grayer lying-by-omission, whether you are recounting a story to gain emotional support or notorious political maneuvering. This tactical con is in abundance across the spectrum of humanity.
This brings us to the most complex of all - the love-con. People lie just to have love. Specifically, let's just say they lie (white and black), manipulate (subconsciously and intentionally) and con (out of habit or fear) to get love and to keep love. However, it seems to me, under these conditions, people don't understand what love really means. Maybe the experience of love is so personal, people have vastly divergent ideas of what it looks like. Perhaps it's bad training in how to express love or poor role models giving bad examples of what love is. But, giving the benefit of the doubt, even if ideal models are lacking, I think most everybody can agree on what love isn't.
It is not a con! It is not fear! It is not a lie!
Awareness of the little cons in our lives will awaken us to where we are not being honest with ourselves. Honesty with ourselves is essential to live as authentically as possible. I'm not certain that authenticity in human nature is black and white, like being pregnant, but we can all be more authentic with each other and within.
When do we cross the line between being authentic and running a bit of a con?
People who are good people generally do good things, but sometimes, good people do things which don't meet the barre of a "good thing." They may even have had good intentions behind their efforts, but the outcome stands on shaky ground because it isn't something they would write home to Mother about.
I've found there are primarily two reasons why someone misrepresents themselves, over-extends their reach to make an appearance as something they are not, or downright runs a con. These are money and pride.
The simplistic reason - money - is almost understandable. Everyone can relate to being financially desperate enough to have thought about ways to procure more money in fast, less-than-legal manners. The actual fulfillment of these thoughts takes one down a completely different avenue. Yet, aside from people like Bernie Madoff who is just plain disgustingly greedy, we can still almost justify the sense of obsessively driven emotion which makes one bend the rules to salvage their car, their house, or their business from financial ruin.
The more difficult reason - pride - is multi-faceted and includes not only public image, but love. Under this heading is also ego, which has to do with how one sees oneself. When parents tell kids they are proud of them, they are mostly saying, "I'm so glad I'm your parent!" or "You make me look good!" What parent doesn't rattle off and enhance the accomplishments of their children before voicing their own humbler, hum-drum, same-'ol news? I have experience with this, which is why I can be so honest about it!
Public image makes people run all sorts of cons to save face; from overstating qualifications to downright lying. Then there is the intentional and grayer lying-by-omission, whether you are recounting a story to gain emotional support or notorious political maneuvering. This tactical con is in abundance across the spectrum of humanity.
This brings us to the most complex of all - the love-con. People lie just to have love. Specifically, let's just say they lie (white and black), manipulate (subconsciously and intentionally) and con (out of habit or fear) to get love and to keep love. However, it seems to me, under these conditions, people don't understand what love really means. Maybe the experience of love is so personal, people have vastly divergent ideas of what it looks like. Perhaps it's bad training in how to express love or poor role models giving bad examples of what love is. But, giving the benefit of the doubt, even if ideal models are lacking, I think most everybody can agree on what love isn't.
It is not a con! It is not fear! It is not a lie!
Awareness of the little cons in our lives will awaken us to where we are not being honest with ourselves. Honesty with ourselves is essential to live as authentically as possible. I'm not certain that authenticity in human nature is black and white, like being pregnant, but we can all be more authentic with each other and within.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
This Morning 3/29/12
This is not this morning, but I've had such a busy day!
So...a poem to keep until tomorrow:
Zoe's Birthday
She came in tall
With the wind and the rain
Black hair, eyes small
Heart as strong as a train
The mind of a Einstein
Wisdom of a sage
Quick witted as a straight line
Belying youthful age
She's only seven years old
With a spirit times ten
Ball of future untold
Born of nature's consent
Sad child, bright child
All at once knows her lot
No doubt will find worthwhile
What is giv'n and what is not
So...a poem to keep until tomorrow:
Zoe's Birthday
She came in tall
With the wind and the rain
Black hair, eyes small
Heart as strong as a train
The mind of a Einstein
Wisdom of a sage
Quick witted as a straight line
Belying youthful age
She's only seven years old
With a spirit times ten
Ball of future untold
Born of nature's consent
Sad child, bright child
All at once knows her lot
No doubt will find worthwhile
What is giv'n and what is not
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
This Morning 3/28/12
Accomplishment (part 3)
The value of accomplishments has to be measured from a position of individuality and not relativity. At the very moment any effort is seen as better-than or worse-than, it loses its intrinsic value. The mainstream educational system is the greatest purveyor of this "relative" model, and it is the sole reason why so many children drop-out of school, and why so many refuse to continue even after they have the choice of post-secondary opportunities.
As well, our entire economic model reflects this relativity to the point where greed, masked as achievements and accomplishments, drives many to crime (white- and blue-collar) to resolve and hide the shame inherent in tactics often accompanying these pursuits.
The social and economic structures of human nature are based on this system of relativity. We judge everything in a context of standards created by those who will never know us. Oftentimes, these standards are thousands of years old.
Excellence is overlooked because of refusal to see what is there instead of what we expect.
This is why it is important to understand the value of yourself as yourself. How far did you have to stretch your emotional reach today in order to call about a new job? What did it take for you to write your blog today and how does that make you feel? When you cradled that child in the middle of the night, and lost sleep, and got up again at 6 a.m. to cook breakfast and get them off to school, did you acknowledge yourself for doing these important things?
Value in accomplishments.
Only you can judge the true value of your accomplishments. And with that, I say, go forward and don't be afraid to attempt anything. You have a right to do everything you want to try to do. If you want to paint, paint! If you want to run a marathon, try it! If you want to change careers, do it!
Reach out - there's room enough.
The value of accomplishments has to be measured from a position of individuality and not relativity. At the very moment any effort is seen as better-than or worse-than, it loses its intrinsic value. The mainstream educational system is the greatest purveyor of this "relative" model, and it is the sole reason why so many children drop-out of school, and why so many refuse to continue even after they have the choice of post-secondary opportunities.
As well, our entire economic model reflects this relativity to the point where greed, masked as achievements and accomplishments, drives many to crime (white- and blue-collar) to resolve and hide the shame inherent in tactics often accompanying these pursuits.
The social and economic structures of human nature are based on this system of relativity. We judge everything in a context of standards created by those who will never know us. Oftentimes, these standards are thousands of years old.
Excellence is overlooked because of refusal to see what is there instead of what we expect.
This is why it is important to understand the value of yourself as yourself. How far did you have to stretch your emotional reach today in order to call about a new job? What did it take for you to write your blog today and how does that make you feel? When you cradled that child in the middle of the night, and lost sleep, and got up again at 6 a.m. to cook breakfast and get them off to school, did you acknowledge yourself for doing these important things?
Value in accomplishments.
Only you can judge the true value of your accomplishments. And with that, I say, go forward and don't be afraid to attempt anything. You have a right to do everything you want to try to do. If you want to paint, paint! If you want to run a marathon, try it! If you want to change careers, do it!
Reach out - there's room enough.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
This Morning 3/27/12
Accomplishment (part 2)
Changing one's mind about "what you think," about being right, is not easy. Most everyone has an opinion about most everything! We look at life and specific situations from a certain angle, a particular perspective, based on our experiences and judgments. It's not wrong to have judgments or opinions; actually, it's really important to know where you stand. The conflict and limiting thinking comes when we believe that our beliefs are the only valid ones. Just look at religions - the basis of many wars and justification of genocide after genocide.
The cogent question is this:
Can we accomplish what we can accomplish as individuals, and as nations, without stepping over or upon others in the process?
The construct of Capitalism has profit-making as its cornerstone. This translates socially as class division because in a profit-based economy there are those who buy and those who sell. There are also those who manufacture and those who tell the manufacturers what to make. It is inherently unequal. Therefore, the stepping upon and over others to earn more profit is part of the process.
But we live in a Capitalistic society and must, ultimately, choose whether the track of our accomplishments will be from the bottom up or the top down.
(to be continued)
Changing one's mind about "what you think," about being right, is not easy. Most everyone has an opinion about most everything! We look at life and specific situations from a certain angle, a particular perspective, based on our experiences and judgments. It's not wrong to have judgments or opinions; actually, it's really important to know where you stand. The conflict and limiting thinking comes when we believe that our beliefs are the only valid ones. Just look at religions - the basis of many wars and justification of genocide after genocide.
The cogent question is this:
Can we accomplish what we can accomplish as individuals, and as nations, without stepping over or upon others in the process?
The construct of Capitalism has profit-making as its cornerstone. This translates socially as class division because in a profit-based economy there are those who buy and those who sell. There are also those who manufacture and those who tell the manufacturers what to make. It is inherently unequal. Therefore, the stepping upon and over others to earn more profit is part of the process.
But we live in a Capitalistic society and must, ultimately, choose whether the track of our accomplishments will be from the bottom up or the top down.
(to be continued)
Monday, March 26, 2012
This Morning 3/26/12
Accomplishment
The real measure of one's life is not decided by any single accomplishment, but by the culmination of decisions and events which leads up to it. We cannot be attached to the letters behind our name, but we can be certain that the process of learning and the development of standards acquired during the acquisition of those letters gives the most accurate picture of one's achievements.
Whether it is a Ph.D. or an A.A. degree, it is no easy task to tackle higher education, especially if other responsibilities like jobs and children are also on the plate. It takes focus and commitment, humility and sometimes, humiliation, to face the changes that accompany this effort.
The bumper sticker adage, Don't Believe Everything You Think, which comes from Thomas Kida's book of the same name, is a wonderful overall one-liner to prepare us for not only the higher education track of life, but for life in general.
(to be continued)
The real measure of one's life is not decided by any single accomplishment, but by the culmination of decisions and events which leads up to it. We cannot be attached to the letters behind our name, but we can be certain that the process of learning and the development of standards acquired during the acquisition of those letters gives the most accurate picture of one's achievements.
Whether it is a Ph.D. or an A.A. degree, it is no easy task to tackle higher education, especially if other responsibilities like jobs and children are also on the plate. It takes focus and commitment, humility and sometimes, humiliation, to face the changes that accompany this effort.
The bumper sticker adage, Don't Believe Everything You Think, which comes from Thomas Kida's book of the same name, is a wonderful overall one-liner to prepare us for not only the higher education track of life, but for life in general.
(to be continued)
Sunday, March 25, 2012
This Morning 3/25/12
The Price of Dinner
I never go out to eat anymore. From age 19-33, I could have counted on less than two hands the number of times I ate dinner in a restaurant. Not only did I have very restricted dietary choices, but I also didn't have a lot of money to spend. Whether in or out of love relationships, my lifestyle just didn't accommodate the choice of eating out.
In this second part of my adult life, however, from about 34-49, until the last year or so, I would eat out at least once or twice each week. Most of those choices to dine out were not mine, though; they were the choice of the man I was with. Having dinner in a restaurant is always at least four times as expensive and rarely as satisfying to me as a home-cooked meal.
There is something beautifully primal and selfless about preparing food for and with someone. To feed someone is to take care of them. Buying someone dinner in a restaurant just doesn't have quite the same grace. Granted, the varied menu choice is fun, and sitting across from someone while being served by a waitperson, has a "privileged" feel to it, but I can't quite rate it as intimate. In fact, sitting in a restaurant where the nearest couple is less than three feet away isn't intimate at all.
I hadn't been out to dinner for quite a while, but last night I went to dinner with my old boyfriend. He called to say he was visiting the area and wanted to take me to dinner. We went to a different restaurant than we had frequented over the past 8 years. (That part was my choice!) While the food was satisfying in the context of feeding hunger, the overall taste the experience left in my mouth was less than palatable.
You can't really talk in a restaurant; talk about important things. It's a public setting. It's neutral ground; safety against any kind of conversation which is too intimate or deep. There's always the awareness that it's best to not open any cans of worms so you don't spoil the food! It's as if the topic menu is limited to the square footage of the table where you are sitting, so that traversing subjects outside of those bounds - anything bigger than, say, the size of an oven - is to risk the glasses spilling over and possibly staining your pants or sleeves or, worse, the front of your shirt about right where the heart is.
I didn't look at the bill; he paid, as he always has. Well, he paid the money, that is. For me, I kept the conversational subjects safe and easy, maintained a jovial and light tone, ignored his joking references to sex (even though the tension was thick as Delmonico steak), and bit my tongue more than once as the evening came to a close. I politely didn't require the latest installment of why we are not together or how hard it is for me to be with him without being with him. Nor did I complain that every time he mentions sex, even in a joking way, he is really not being nice. I ignored his blatant lack of accuracy when he said he felt "free" again, referencing a time in his life when he actually wasn't free; we were together then. Then I came home and had a dream, a thematically-recurring dream, which comes often after I see him. It's not a comforting dream, but it always gives me the same message.
So, while I didn't pay money for dinner, the price was extremely high, and perhaps, next time, I will cook and he will cancel.
I never go out to eat anymore. From age 19-33, I could have counted on less than two hands the number of times I ate dinner in a restaurant. Not only did I have very restricted dietary choices, but I also didn't have a lot of money to spend. Whether in or out of love relationships, my lifestyle just didn't accommodate the choice of eating out.
In this second part of my adult life, however, from about 34-49, until the last year or so, I would eat out at least once or twice each week. Most of those choices to dine out were not mine, though; they were the choice of the man I was with. Having dinner in a restaurant is always at least four times as expensive and rarely as satisfying to me as a home-cooked meal.
There is something beautifully primal and selfless about preparing food for and with someone. To feed someone is to take care of them. Buying someone dinner in a restaurant just doesn't have quite the same grace. Granted, the varied menu choice is fun, and sitting across from someone while being served by a waitperson, has a "privileged" feel to it, but I can't quite rate it as intimate. In fact, sitting in a restaurant where the nearest couple is less than three feet away isn't intimate at all.
I hadn't been out to dinner for quite a while, but last night I went to dinner with my old boyfriend. He called to say he was visiting the area and wanted to take me to dinner. We went to a different restaurant than we had frequented over the past 8 years. (That part was my choice!) While the food was satisfying in the context of feeding hunger, the overall taste the experience left in my mouth was less than palatable.
You can't really talk in a restaurant; talk about important things. It's a public setting. It's neutral ground; safety against any kind of conversation which is too intimate or deep. There's always the awareness that it's best to not open any cans of worms so you don't spoil the food! It's as if the topic menu is limited to the square footage of the table where you are sitting, so that traversing subjects outside of those bounds - anything bigger than, say, the size of an oven - is to risk the glasses spilling over and possibly staining your pants or sleeves or, worse, the front of your shirt about right where the heart is.
I didn't look at the bill; he paid, as he always has. Well, he paid the money, that is. For me, I kept the conversational subjects safe and easy, maintained a jovial and light tone, ignored his joking references to sex (even though the tension was thick as Delmonico steak), and bit my tongue more than once as the evening came to a close. I politely didn't require the latest installment of why we are not together or how hard it is for me to be with him without being with him. Nor did I complain that every time he mentions sex, even in a joking way, he is really not being nice. I ignored his blatant lack of accuracy when he said he felt "free" again, referencing a time in his life when he actually wasn't free; we were together then. Then I came home and had a dream, a thematically-recurring dream, which comes often after I see him. It's not a comforting dream, but it always gives me the same message.
So, while I didn't pay money for dinner, the price was extremely high, and perhaps, next time, I will cook and he will cancel.
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