Being in love is like being dropped in the middle of the ocean and then asked, "How's the view?"! It's incredibly breathtaking and frightening beyond anything. It envelops us in simultaneous feelings of freedom, isolation, perfection, and vulnerability.
A wise woman once said there are three integral pieces that lay the groundwork for a love relationship. They are chemistry, rhythm, and timing.
Chemistry
We are primarily biological creatures. We also happen to have consciousness; that is, cognizance of time and awareness of self and universe. The biology component predisposes us to the laws of nature; an abundance of procreative juice communicated through the senses of smell, taste, sight, and touch. Pheromones emitted by one can go unnoticed for years seemingly until a creature who happens to possess compatible receptors discovers and follows the trail, and eventually, the two find each other. The big bang theory in microcosm!
The consciousness aspect of our humanity plays another role in the chemistry equation. Often we have attractions to one another which are inexplicable by any component other than a "recognition" that the person to whom you are attracted is deeply connected with you. Theories of souls shouldn't be off the table when this sense is invoked. We really don't know. In fact, the inexplicable is just that, and therefore, not necessarily subject to any plausible explanation. Lack of empirical proof doesn't enter a conversation such as this. Cosmic awareness, whether contextualized in physical or religious cosmological terms, lends itself to substantiating the reason for the human brain's pre-frontal cortex. Intuition and instinct have validity, even if science doesn't explain it adequately.
Rhythm
The construct of rhythm, as it relates to love, focuses specifically on the dynamic interplay of two individuals. We pulse at a natural frequency which "works" with some people and clashes with others.
Rhythm is the beat of our inner drum. If one's natural rhythm resonates like a heartbeat and another's sits on the 2 & 4 beats, chances are their rhythms are not compatible. Someone whose eyes are constantly wandering, scouting the surrounding environment, may not resonate with another who can be still and relaxed in public.
Although simplistic in presentation, deciphering rhythm isn't at all simple. You can put someone in a quiet environment and completely shift their mood and, apparently, their rhythm. But the external and the internal song, when averaged out, comes to rest somewhere on a scale, and that place is where inner rhythm lies. It is the thing that facilitates clear communication and fun between partners.
Timing
The role of timing in love is widely recognized and touted as one of the most important aspects by which to measure potential longevity in relationship. While two people can definitely have incompatible timing for a short run, a long term commitment of harmony requires synchronicity of timing.
Being ready for love is a timing thing. You cannot will yourself successfully into a state of receptivity or active pursuit of love if the timing in your life is not congruent. The breath of love, and the breath of life, respirates - inhales and exales - and we must allow for our individual timing to either prompt us forward or hold us back.
There is nothing so frustrating as meeting someone with whom, it seems, all the ingredients are there, except that the timing is wrong for one or the other. These are the missed opportunities and we must just put aside the regret and move on. One never knows what roads may bring you back together later when the timing is right.
While there are many more attributes characterized as guideposts for recognizing a good groundwork for lasting love, even these can have limitations and often confuse more than clarify. Each experience that activates our love radar is unique with its own variety of complexities. Simplifying anything into an acronym - CRT - can minimize its true meaning, and this is unnecessary.
What is necessary is utilization of the knowledge, wisdom, and realizations gained from the missed opportunities and past attempts at connection, which were clouded by our denial of what we knew we knew, but chose to ignore. When we apply these understandings of ourselves and our past, our readiness moves into "allow" mode and chemistry, rhythm, and timing have a better chance of working for us, and not against us. Also, it is where that view of the ocean starts to look really good and not so scary!
