After going to the acupuncturist the other day, I have felt much more progress. As my friends in the A.A. stream of consciousness recite, "Progress, not perfection." It is good axiom when dealing with an illness or condition in stages.
Remember, the healer is present already! The healer exists in a time-space continuum not associated with physical reality. Perhaps that is a misstatement. More clearly, "The healer exists in a continuum not associated with the time-space reality."
(Last night I dreamed of jumping over a body of rushing water. I was holding hands - partnering - with a dark-haired younger man/child. We guided one another over the rocks which brought us to the other side. For two nights running, a blond, long-haired male has been showing himself as well.)
I'm taking Yunnan Baiyao, a Chinese herbal combination known to stop bleeding and pain, create circulation and also, promote healing of bruises and muscle strains. It apparently has other applications and is revered by those who know its properties. It is helping me.
I found this article by Dr. David D. Leh, L.Ac., very helpful and enlightening in its scope and insight:
Treating Pain and Trauma with Chinese Medicine
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
This Morning 8/31/12 The Knee Situation
Been on crutches for 5 days now - left knee ballooned without apparent
trauma or injury. Had acupuncture two days ago -
swelling has reduced about 25%. I continue to use castor oil and apple cider vinegar wraps, taking Chinese herbal supplement, occasional baby
aspirin, elevation (as much as I can). I stopped icing because the tissue
is at a different stage where the ice is not helping. I am trying to stretch my leg gingerly and strengthen the adductors. (inner thigh) Drinking water. The
pain is reduced 50-75% from a few days ago. That's a blessing! Still
can't manage the clutch on my Subaru, so I'm home.
My sister and nephew are coming on Saturday to help me with things like lawn and house stuff.
Life is full of surprises - even after a beautiful ceremony like Sundance where you feel like all is in balance. Blam! (surprise!) Maybe it is in balance...maybe the balance is gaining stillness and humility, and slowing down to a ridiculous pace where every move I make has to be thought out and considered before I proceed even one step.
Maybe the lesson of allowing kindness to evade me one too many times has caught up with me. I do not walk in darkness, and shouldn't try. I am not cynical, and shouldn't swim in those waters. I don't do sarcasm or defensiveness, and shouldn't allow those weaknesses to bubble up within my mind. I don't like shame, and shouldn't act shamed when there is none to have.
I look forward to walking and running again. I look forward to the moments of stillness by conscious choice.
My sister and nephew are coming on Saturday to help me with things like lawn and house stuff.
Life is full of surprises - even after a beautiful ceremony like Sundance where you feel like all is in balance. Blam! (surprise!) Maybe it is in balance...maybe the balance is gaining stillness and humility, and slowing down to a ridiculous pace where every move I make has to be thought out and considered before I proceed even one step.
Maybe the lesson of allowing kindness to evade me one too many times has caught up with me. I do not walk in darkness, and shouldn't try. I am not cynical, and shouldn't swim in those waters. I don't do sarcasm or defensiveness, and shouldn't allow those weaknesses to bubble up within my mind. I don't like shame, and shouldn't act shamed when there is none to have.
I look forward to walking and running again. I look forward to the moments of stillness by conscious choice.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
This Morning 8/27/12 False Inequity
One cannot feel equal in the presence of shame. Shame is an acquired trait, not an innate one. There is nothing so disheartening as two young people standing side by side, equal in every way except that one bears the visible weight of shame in her eyes.
Shame comes from sources too numerous to recount in this small missive. To take one source - poverty - may serve to make a point.
Poverty/wealth is a defined standard of measurement in the context of income and material goods. In 2012, if a single person makes less than approximately $1000 per month, that is considered 100% poverty level. A family of four - $1900 per month. Cash on hand, available credit, value of property, and domicile(s) of residence are all indicators of wealth. In addition, wealth can be measured by consumer goods choices which include shopping habits, purchased food, wardrobe, and the type of car one drives.
The measured poverty/wealth standards in the U.S. run a wide swath from the destitute to the richest in the world. This disparity led the entire sway of reasoning which initiated the "Occupy Movement," now seemingly successfully derailed not two years after its initial rumblings, thanks to your friendly neighborhood law enforcement agencies taking orders from the Department of Homeland Security, and other federal agencies. (The First Amendment is under fire.)
If you own a row home in Detroit or live in a house trailer in Mississippi, chances are you are close to or actually living at the standard poverty level. If you shop at Walmart and Bottom Dollar, not Wegmans and Trader Joe's, you are most likely living at a poverty level. If you primarily buy your clothes at the Salvation Army, not Macy's, you are probably living at the poverty level.
To live at the poverty level in the U.S. gets you a special label to wear: shamed. There isn't one person who lives at a poverty level who does not want to be living otherwise. The children who grow up in this environment are very aware that they are the "lower" class. They see the teens in TV shows with their designer jeans and the commercials advertising Nike Jordan's. They know that eating a hamburger isn't the same as lobster. They know that their chances of breaking the cycle of poverty is remote, as much as they want to. These are the children who eat less and want more. They want more because they don't have enough. They are in a perpetual cycle of deprivation.
The manifestation of this deprivation stands on feet made of toughness, edginess, depression, suicide, drug abuse, rage, violence, spiritual darkness and occasionally, spiritual enlightenment. The face of deprivation born of poverty can open doors to dreams or slam them shut because of jealousy and the sense of injustice that is integral in a societal framework where one has more than another for no apparent good reason.
Does rational circumstance or the randomness of the universe enter this equation of why shame falls upon the soul of one born into and raised within poverty? Are we not able to reach out to our neighbor and feed their children? Can just one Mercedes Benz owner stop at the local grocery, and hand $100 bills out to mothers with children in tow, fumbling WIC dollars and food stamp cards? Or better yet, buy her groceries that week?
This is not an act of charity - it empowers her to provide. It removes shame. It buys her 8 year-old son a Subway sandwich which makes him feel EQUAL to the rest of society. It restores the sense of false inequity which has embedded itself in the heart and soul of the children. Children of poverty are not unequal, they are unlucky.
Children are not responsible for this insidious false inequity. Society is responsible. As a whole, the fabric of society - it's people in positions of capability - must withdrawal this message of shame, feed all children well and encourage tokens of humaneness which allow for lives - and souls - to be transformed by a single act of kindness.
Shame comes from sources too numerous to recount in this small missive. To take one source - poverty - may serve to make a point.
Poverty/wealth is a defined standard of measurement in the context of income and material goods. In 2012, if a single person makes less than approximately $1000 per month, that is considered 100% poverty level. A family of four - $1900 per month. Cash on hand, available credit, value of property, and domicile(s) of residence are all indicators of wealth. In addition, wealth can be measured by consumer goods choices which include shopping habits, purchased food, wardrobe, and the type of car one drives.
The measured poverty/wealth standards in the U.S. run a wide swath from the destitute to the richest in the world. This disparity led the entire sway of reasoning which initiated the "Occupy Movement," now seemingly successfully derailed not two years after its initial rumblings, thanks to your friendly neighborhood law enforcement agencies taking orders from the Department of Homeland Security, and other federal agencies. (The First Amendment is under fire.)
If you own a row home in Detroit or live in a house trailer in Mississippi, chances are you are close to or actually living at the standard poverty level. If you shop at Walmart and Bottom Dollar, not Wegmans and Trader Joe's, you are most likely living at a poverty level. If you primarily buy your clothes at the Salvation Army, not Macy's, you are probably living at the poverty level.
To live at the poverty level in the U.S. gets you a special label to wear: shamed. There isn't one person who lives at a poverty level who does not want to be living otherwise. The children who grow up in this environment are very aware that they are the "lower" class. They see the teens in TV shows with their designer jeans and the commercials advertising Nike Jordan's. They know that eating a hamburger isn't the same as lobster. They know that their chances of breaking the cycle of poverty is remote, as much as they want to. These are the children who eat less and want more. They want more because they don't have enough. They are in a perpetual cycle of deprivation.
The manifestation of this deprivation stands on feet made of toughness, edginess, depression, suicide, drug abuse, rage, violence, spiritual darkness and occasionally, spiritual enlightenment. The face of deprivation born of poverty can open doors to dreams or slam them shut because of jealousy and the sense of injustice that is integral in a societal framework where one has more than another for no apparent good reason.
Does rational circumstance or the randomness of the universe enter this equation of why shame falls upon the soul of one born into and raised within poverty? Are we not able to reach out to our neighbor and feed their children? Can just one Mercedes Benz owner stop at the local grocery, and hand $100 bills out to mothers with children in tow, fumbling WIC dollars and food stamp cards? Or better yet, buy her groceries that week?
This is not an act of charity - it empowers her to provide. It removes shame. It buys her 8 year-old son a Subway sandwich which makes him feel EQUAL to the rest of society. It restores the sense of false inequity which has embedded itself in the heart and soul of the children. Children of poverty are not unequal, they are unlucky.
Children are not responsible for this insidious false inequity. Society is responsible. As a whole, the fabric of society - it's people in positions of capability - must withdrawal this message of shame, feed all children well and encourage tokens of humaneness which allow for lives - and souls - to be transformed by a single act of kindness.
Monday, August 27, 2012
This Morning 8/27/12 No Justice
There is no justice in retaliation. Justice, by it's very definition, implies a standard of law.
But, exactly, whose laws are considered just?
The standards of justice inside a nation, a religion, or a family can all greatly vary. There is no way to truthfully create a common standard for justice in a world where the standards of living are disparate. Would it be any less okay for someone who is starving to steal a loaf of bread than it is okay for a millionaire to write off the minimum wage cash exchange for his driver, thereby stealing thousands of dollars per year from the government owed as taxes?
The answer is no, but the injustice lies in the fact that society has an expectation that stealing bread vs. stealing government tax earnings are two different kinds of stealing. Therefore the retaliation for such crimes, and most importantly, the enforcement of the retaliation, is carried out in such a way that the bread-stealer is much more despised and castigated.
To imagine a standard of law where all those brought to justice are treated on a level playing field is an impossible dream. Even in the context of 12-person juries, the tactics of manipulation employed by lawyers and presented appearances immediately clouds the "fairness factor" when decision time is due.
Retaliation, often thought of as a offensive posturing within a framework of defense, cannot be considered just - whether lawful or not - when the standard moves according to the whims of individuals.
But, exactly, whose laws are considered just?
The standards of justice inside a nation, a religion, or a family can all greatly vary. There is no way to truthfully create a common standard for justice in a world where the standards of living are disparate. Would it be any less okay for someone who is starving to steal a loaf of bread than it is okay for a millionaire to write off the minimum wage cash exchange for his driver, thereby stealing thousands of dollars per year from the government owed as taxes?
The answer is no, but the injustice lies in the fact that society has an expectation that stealing bread vs. stealing government tax earnings are two different kinds of stealing. Therefore the retaliation for such crimes, and most importantly, the enforcement of the retaliation, is carried out in such a way that the bread-stealer is much more despised and castigated.
To imagine a standard of law where all those brought to justice are treated on a level playing field is an impossible dream. Even in the context of 12-person juries, the tactics of manipulation employed by lawyers and presented appearances immediately clouds the "fairness factor" when decision time is due.
Retaliation, often thought of as a offensive posturing within a framework of defense, cannot be considered just - whether lawful or not - when the standard moves according to the whims of individuals.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
This Morning 8/26/12 Guilt
"Guilt starts as a feeling of failure." ---Frank Herbert, Dune
Frank Herbert had a great outlet for his extraordinary philosophical and humanistic views of life. A science fiction author, magazine and newspaper writer, and guest speaker, he was not afforded the luxury of full-time writing until his fifties. He died in 1986 at the age of 66. However, he gave us a plethora of philosophy in that time. Raised a Catholic, Herbert considered himself a Zen Buddhist at the end of his life.
No wonder his focus on ecology, power, the human spirit, human consciousness, the evolution of populations of people and the effect of language on humans. These are the themes of life which generate the questions most important to interactive survival of the species.
Herbert's philosophical observation quoted at the beginning of this post is worth exploring. Guilt is a destructive emotion which serves no purpose save to instill a sense of failure. It is used by religions, by judiciaries, and by corporations to exercise control over populations. Instilling a sense of failure in another requires a balancing mechanism: the protection, power or rightness (righteousness) of the opposing force. In this case, the institution projecting guilt.
To say there is a place for guilt in the weaving of a lifetime would be true. However, there is no place for guilt in the weaving of a lifetime lived by one who is good and just. Guilt never holds this one in check; it is always the intention of kindness which is the guiding force. Always kindness.
Some are kind without despair for the respondent who cannot bring themselves to this level of the beauty walk. That is good as long as the issueance of visceral and convoluted energy does not penetrate the one who is most kind. When it does, a slip of the knee joint happens; the faltering and shallowness creates an opening through which to maim kindness. This is a hit of the extreme. This can be the genesis of feelings of failure on two counts.
One count is the sense of self-loathing at one's weakness at participating or falling into the crevice of unkind thinking. The other count is the actual allowing of the penetration to occur. Guilt lies in these places for one born to kindness.
Therefore, the practice of kindness must be employed to overcome the penetration. Protection is useless, as the line has been crossed and that which is unkind already exists in the kind one. The only way to survive and draw out the poisoned dart is through strengthening of the initial beauty way. Darkness cannot long survive in the presence of light.
Frank Herbert had a great outlet for his extraordinary philosophical and humanistic views of life. A science fiction author, magazine and newspaper writer, and guest speaker, he was not afforded the luxury of full-time writing until his fifties. He died in 1986 at the age of 66. However, he gave us a plethora of philosophy in that time. Raised a Catholic, Herbert considered himself a Zen Buddhist at the end of his life.
No wonder his focus on ecology, power, the human spirit, human consciousness, the evolution of populations of people and the effect of language on humans. These are the themes of life which generate the questions most important to interactive survival of the species.
Herbert's philosophical observation quoted at the beginning of this post is worth exploring. Guilt is a destructive emotion which serves no purpose save to instill a sense of failure. It is used by religions, by judiciaries, and by corporations to exercise control over populations. Instilling a sense of failure in another requires a balancing mechanism: the protection, power or rightness (righteousness) of the opposing force. In this case, the institution projecting guilt.
To say there is a place for guilt in the weaving of a lifetime would be true. However, there is no place for guilt in the weaving of a lifetime lived by one who is good and just. Guilt never holds this one in check; it is always the intention of kindness which is the guiding force. Always kindness.
Some are kind without despair for the respondent who cannot bring themselves to this level of the beauty walk. That is good as long as the issueance of visceral and convoluted energy does not penetrate the one who is most kind. When it does, a slip of the knee joint happens; the faltering and shallowness creates an opening through which to maim kindness. This is a hit of the extreme. This can be the genesis of feelings of failure on two counts.
One count is the sense of self-loathing at one's weakness at participating or falling into the crevice of unkind thinking. The other count is the actual allowing of the penetration to occur. Guilt lies in these places for one born to kindness.
Therefore, the practice of kindness must be employed to overcome the penetration. Protection is useless, as the line has been crossed and that which is unkind already exists in the kind one. The only way to survive and draw out the poisoned dart is through strengthening of the initial beauty way. Darkness cannot long survive in the presence of light.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)