This comes from an email and my parenthetical, italicized comments are the response to it:
I saw M--- today. I told you her husband died, right? (yes, it's sad)
Anyway...she's doing not too bad....but oddly, my leg started hurting
when I left there. (that's weird!)
Remember my knee went out when I worked with her and before that, I had
been getting
femoral nerve pain in the same leg at the mid-thigh point. Very odd... (perhaps muscle memory from unresolved emotions or coincidence because of the way you were sitting all day - take your pick!)
Moreso, I write to say that his death was sudden and she wondered why
she never left work at 5pm when
he always called her to come home for supper. (it is normal to wish we had some conscious knowledge of an approaching death; it's how we try to find control again) It reminded me of you.
And saddened me. (insert the last sentence, but after the word "approaching," insert "a breakup from which you've not recovered")
You people who think you have life after life lose something in the
translation. (reincarnation of a soul doesn't negate responsibility; besides, belief gives meaning and that is part of the human condition.) You remember some things
but forget other things. (conveniently!) And that saddens me as well. (you who don't remember are still operating from memory; just unconsciously!)
She said it is none of her business why he chose to go (transform she
says) - it's for him to know and honor. (it doesn't remove the pain to know this)
Why can't we just say things are accidents? (to say "accident" means there is possibly no meaning to attach to an event and we humans like meaning.) Accidents sometimes are
permanent, but mostly, they are just
mistakes made by one or another. Most accidents can probably be rectified. (this is true; but as you point out, the operative word is "most." a permanent accident, like anything else, is also subject to the meaning we attach to it. humans need meaning. find yours but don't impose it on another. sharing is one thing, but a filter is a good thing to have.)
OK that's it. I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight. (rest in love and meaning!)(what's the alternative?!)
signed,
the real me.
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