This Morning 4/1/12

When Dawgs Bite

Attending a musical event can be a time to enjoy, to unwind, to reminisce, to learn and to forget our troubles.  Music has the rare ability to dig deep into our emotions, evoke memories and feelings, and to inspire new ones.  It can make us cry and laugh simultaneously for both the bitter and the sweet.  It is a healing salve, a calming force, a tornado and a river full of tears.

When I walked into the concert setting last night to hear a band of Dawgs play their new-grass/bluegrass/jazzy hearts out, I didn't expect to have mine nipped and chawed on.

I tend to be exuberant to a fault.  One might call me an "enthusiast."  I go with the prevailing, most "up" feeling and ride it like a wave, in all its powerful strength and grandeur.  I'm demonstrative and easily generous with verbal and nonverbal feedback.  All these ways of relating can embed me into the center of attention sometimes, which is wonderful if there is a loving, safe reception.  But, on the contrary, it also positions me to be an easy target for those less able to digest this aspect of who I am.

I go to great lengths to protect my spirit from disruption.  I don't drink alcohol or smoke dope or hand out my phone number to anyone I don't know.   There are specific things I do mentally and spiritually to keep myself intact before I enter a crowded room.   However, last night I forgot to preserve my space and became a target of more than one person's raised eyebrows and sideways glares.

What can I say?  It was my former husband onstage playing at the place we had met 20 years ago.  I was excited, and dealing with my own less "up" uncertainties with my enthusiasm. Hence, I was shown later through a dream the truth of these encounters and how Then-me is not Now-me.  And why it shouldn't be.

I'd like to blame it on the music.  In fact, I do.  Music takes us back to wherever we were emotionally when those songs were most important in our lives.

Although drama doesn't move me anymore, I do, occasionally, encounter it.  Last night, I had a little bite from the drama Dawg.  Fortunately, it takes so much less time - minutes, in fact - to shake it off and see my way clear.

That is the blessing of not listening to the same music over and over, throughout decades.  I think I will start giving away my old record collection.