We love to define everything. From explaining our inability to lose weight (must be a thyroid condition) to creating terminology for our lackluster dating life (in transition). Some of us cannot survive our feelings unless we put some label or term on them to understand why we aren't perfectly happy, satisfied, content, good, or any other term that defines our idea of what we should be feeling. I love seasonal mood disorder (SAD) for this reason! It just allows me to be a bear in the winter - sleepy and grumpy!
Although adding definition is obviously a helpful tool, I think it is overrated. On this subject, one of my favorite quotes is from Pema Chodron, author and Buddhist scholar:
“We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart.”
Also:
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.”
These definitions we assign ourselves and our life circumstances are our attempts to stay in the "nest." They are our way of staying grounded in a very often ungrounded, unknown existence.
I had a teacher once with whom I studied specific spiritual and psycho-somatic healing techniques. She often spoke of the "pause." She defined this pause as the space between the in-breath and the out-breath. Metaphorically, it's that moment at the edge of the nest, when we crouch down to jump, right before we lift. Metaphysically, it's the space between life and after-life. Presently, it is those moments of uncertainty and non-definition of ourselves, our plans and our purpose.
It's okay to just commit, to show up, for life. Life has no expectations of you. It is you who has the expectations.
Sometimes, to just live, is enough.
