A. A.
I have some experience with A. A. Not as a "member" or official "friend of Bill's," but because some of the closest people in my life are associated with Alcoholics Anonymous. Of course, anonymity is a closely held tenet of the organization, so I could never divulge names out of respect.
Although I haven't drank alcohol in over 25 years, and understand the difficulties socially and personally of restraining from it, my own choice of sobriety comes from an identification with spiritual clarity rather than a communal dogmatic construct. I have sat through some meetings, even attending one or two a year to support my loved ones, and I generally agree with everything the program is espousing. But, there is a big "but."
The organization in and of itself is rather cultish. There is never an "out." If you don't "keep coming back," you are still considered to be sick. One can never, so to speak, graduate from being part of A.A. It is a lifelong enlistment. According to all the meetings I've ever been to and all the members I've ever known, the bottom line is if you are an alcoholic and want to stay sober, coming to A.A. will keep you so.
There is no delineation between those who drank in various quantities with various DOC (drug/drink of choice); if you are there, you need to be there. Woah!
I guess hearing all the war stories ad infinitum, with every other word beginning with either an F or a S, while in the next breath they talk about staying positive, seems a bit like double speak to me. To stay positive, isn't the best thing to talk and think positively!
Alcoholism is a destructive, insidious, and pervasive condition under which to live. I grew up in a house where it was present and unchecked, and caused harm beyond imagine. I never begrudge the healing process to anyone, but if you are going to heal, continuing to identify yourself as one who is an "alcoholic" while not being alcoholic, is, again, double-speak.
It makes me wonder if A.A. doesn't keep people "sick" in order to exist.
My lifelong friend and mentor, Joy, a therapist for nearly 40 years, identifies most addiction issues as maturity issues. I suppose she could be right and it makes sense to me that if we focus on getting our "hit" of A.A. in order to not drink, we are just transferring a pattern of addictive behavior onto the group. Growing up and taking responsibility to not drink; making the commitment to be positive, and doing the inner spiritual and emotional work to deal with painful memories has worked well for me.
To be fair, there are positive aspects to A.A. The sense of camaraderie and support, no required dues, free place to come and complain about your life, books and literature to guide your sobriety, and a worldwide network are just a few.
If I sound a bit sardonic at times about A.A., I suppose I am. If I were to weigh the good and bad aspects, I would say, overall, it is a good thing. But I also say that overall, it's a bad thing because it keeps people stuck in a place where they continually are reminded of who they used to be. Staying around that kind of memory and energy does not push one's vision forward as much as it creates fear and loathing of the past. There is an intrinsic self-hate in that and THAT is why I am not part of A.A.
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